Christmas was quiet but fairly awesome — at least, it was a success with the kids, which is what really counts. Sam is on school vacation, so we’ve been sleeping in a lot. Winter break for everyone! And there might be rain before the end of it, which would be awesome, needless to say. The weather pattern on the West Coast is changing and the jet stream looks to take a big dip next week, putting So Cal squarely in the path of the next Pacific storm. So, you know, cross your fingers. Not because you care (I’m sure you don’t) but because maybe I’ll stop having on about it.

See you in the New Year.

I have never started Christmas shopping this late before, not in my life. It’s the 21st and I still only have one bitty present for Matt. No stocking stuffers, no babies for Boolie, nothing for Sam. I’ve been cautioning the boys, since we have bought them some toys recently, that the more toys your parents buy you in December, the less Santa will bring. But obviously Santa has to bring something.

But what chance do I get to shop? When I’m not working, one or more of my kids are with me. Period. And even Julia is too smart for me to bring her with me when I shop for her presents.

My ace in the hole is my mother-in-law, who is coming to visit this weekend. I’ll leave the kids with Ben and her, then make a kamikaze run. God knows when I’ll wrap the presents. Probably Monday morning while the kids are at day care.

Christmas has always been my favorite holiday, but only since having these three kids has there been so much pressure involved. Not that I’m really complaining; there are few things in life as much fun as watching your kids when they peek downstairs and see that Santa came. But good God, I’ll be exhausted by the time all this is done; although I always hate to see the Christmas season end, at least the pressure will be off.

The Science Channel is right now showing a program called Massive Black Holes.

I saw a porno like that once.

Tonight we’re going to Ben’s company Christmas party, a yearly form of torture wherein I am introduced for the first time to thirty-seven people in a span of three minutes, and immediately forget ALL their names. They’re having it at Morton’s Steakhouse, which is extremely sweet, and I’m informed we’re to be issued drink tickets. This is rather odd to me. My old law firm, now, THEY knew how to throw a Christmas party.

They would always have an open bar, and everyone would get schnockered, even (especially) the partners. And then January would come, and the bill would arrive, and my boss would go completely apeshit and start reading us all the riot act. Who the fuck drank all this? How many drinks did YOU have? How about your husband? Who ordered all this top shelf shit? Goddammit! and so on. It was endlessly entertaining, all of it — the open bar, the ravings of the partner come January. And we would all whisper behind our hands about who had gotten completely shitfaced and yarped into the roses — until the next year’s party, when someone ELSE would do something even WORSE. But you know, we were all pretty good about it. To my knowledge, no one ever wound up in bed with anyone they shouldn’t have done. At least, it never happened to me.

Probably the drink tickets are the better idea, both from a financial and from an interpersonal point of view. The firm saves money from crazed employees pounding down boilermakers at 1 a.m., and no one ends up table-dancing in a Santa hat. But you know? Back in the day, we used to know how to party.

Just that (1) the big rainstorm petered out and ended up being rather limp, and (2) Sam has been down with the flu for a week, and I’ve had to stay home with him. This involves watching lots of SpongeBob, lots of fetching and carrying, and lots of arguing with him to get him to do his homework. One day I had all THREE kids home sick, and I had the flu myself! SO fun. NOT.

I’m completely unready for Christmas; I have one present for Matt sitting in my office, but apart from that I’m unprepared. We only do Christmas presents for the kids in our families, which uncomplicates things tremendously — but I still have to shop for all three kids, and the two boys have requested preposterously out-of-print action figures dating back to vintage 1984 Ghostbusters toys. This means I can’t just run down to Target and pick up their gifts; I have to slink about little shops in strip malls staffed by stoned gamers.

So, I’ve got ten days. Ready, set, run!

Basenjis are dogs who are almost wild — they were just imported from Africa in the 1960s, and they are much like dingos in their behavior (such as barooing instead of barking). Also, they have no traffic sense. NONE.

Tonight, I had let the dogs in from the backyard when Ben brought the kids home. I figured it would be okay — they don’t open the front door so far, and would have seen the dogs. However, the moment the front door opened, both Rudy and Dollie ran out at breakneck speed. It was 6:45 p.m. or so, and full dark.

They disappeared into the darkness. Which wouldn’t be so bad, except that our cul-de-sac on a cul-de-sac is separated by only a small strip of grass from a major artery, Irvine Avenue, which is heavily trafficked because it’s the route between the freeway and the residental bits of Newport Beach. Traffic travels fast. Across the street is the Back Bay, a wildlife preserve into which a dog could disappear for, like, eternity.

Rudy and Dollie were gone. We all feared the worst.

I didn’t see any dead dogs on Irvine Avenue, which heartened me, and eventually Dollie came out of the shadows and I collared her. Rudy remained gone. Finally a bicyclist rode up to us and asked “Are you looking for another dog” as Ben held Dollie in his arms.

Apparently, a woman in an SUV on Irvine Avenue had stopped just short of running over Rudy, and God bless her, stopped and corraled him into her car. She followed after the bicyclist with Rudy in her passenger seat.

I am too shook up to eat dinner, and I am hugging and kissing the dogs endlessly. From now on, they stay in the (fenced) yard unless everyone, and I mean everyone, is home. The kids were all crying while we looked for them. It was a nightmare of epic proportions.

Thank you God, and welcome home, you little fuckers.

I never get so many comments anymore, for which WAAAHHHH. Yet I see from my stats that I get a number of regular readers, few of whom comment. Yep, I realize I’m not Miss Doxie or Nothing But Bonfires, but come on, y’all, where is the love?

So I’m asking my readers to delurk and post a comment, even it it’s “fuck you and the horse you rode in on”. Consider it a Hanukkah/Christmas present. As we legal types say, thank you for your courtesy and cooperation in this matter.

P.S.: We are forecast for over an inch of rain for the weekend storm. Squee!

Oh, there is a big storm in the forecast for this weekend! Yippee!

SPECIAL WEATHER STATEMENT
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE SAN DIEGO CA
800 PM PST TUE DEC 4 2007

CAZ042-043-048-050-055>058-060>062-052200-
ORANGE COUNTY COASTAL AREAS-SAN DIEGO COUNTY COASTAL AREAS-
SAN BERNARDINO AND RIVERSIDE COUNTY VALLEYS-THE INLAND EMPIRE-
SAN DIEGO COUNTY VALLEYS-SAN BERNARDINO COUNTY MOUNTAINS-
RIVERSIDE COUNTY MOUNTAINS-SANTA ANA MOUNTAINS AND FOOTHILLS-
SAN DIEGO COUNTY MOUNTAINS-APPLE AND LUCERNE VALLEYS-
COACHELLA VALLEY-SAN DIEGO COUNTY DESERTS-
800 PM PST TUE DEC 4 2007

...A STRONG STORM WILL MOVE THROUGH SOUTHWEST CALIFORNIA FRIDAY WITH
SHOWERS LINGERING THROUGH SUNDAY...

A STRONG STORM APPROACHING FROM THE NORTHWEST COULD BRING SHOWERS AS
EARLY AS THURSDAY EVENING BUT PERIODS OF MODERATE TO HEAVY RAIN WILL
BE MORE LIKELY FRIDAY. SHOWERS WITH POSSIBLE THUNDERSTORMS WILL
CONTINUE SATURDAY AND SUNDAY IN A COLD...MOIST...UNSTABLE AIR MASS.
STRONG GUSTY SOUTHWEST WINDS WILL ACCOMPANY THIS STORM...ESPECIALLY
IN THE MOUNTAINS ON FRIDAY. THERE COULD ALSO BE FUNNEL CLOUDS AND
WATERSPOUTS SATURDAY AND SUNDAY.

PRELIMINARY RAINFALL ESTIMATES THROUGH FRIDAY ARE FOR OVER AN INCH
OF RAIN IN MANY AREAS WEST OF THE MOUNTAINS WITH TWO TO THREE INCHES
ON THE SOUTHWEST FACING MOUNTAIN SLOPES. UP TO A THIRD OF AN INCH OF
RAIN IS EXPECTED IN THE DESERTS. RAINFALL TOTALS WILL BE MUCH MORE
VARIABLE SATURDAY AND SUNDAY DUE TO THE SHOWERY NATURE OF THE
PRECIPITATION BUT LOCAL ADDITIONAL AMOUNTS OF A THIRD TO ONE INCH
WILL BE POSSIBLE.

THE SNOW LEVEL WILL START ABOVE 7000 FEET BUT WILL LOWER TO NEAR
5000 FEET IN THE SAN BERNARDINO MOUNTAINS BY FRIDAY AFTERNOON. THERE
COULD BE LOCAL SNOW ACCUMULATIONS OVER TWO FEET AT THE HIGHER
ELEVATIONS BUT WIDESPREAD TOTALS SHOULD BE IN THE HALF TO ONE FOOT
RANGE IN THE SAN BERNARDINO AND RIVERSIDE COUNTY MOUNTAINS. THE SNOW
LEVEL WILL LOWER TO NEAR 4000 FEET BY SUNDAY. THE HIGHER ELEVATIONS
OF THE SAN DIEGO MOUNTAINS COULD EVENTUALLY GET UP TO HALF A FOOT OF
SNOW.

IF THE STORM CONTINUES TO DEVELOP AS EXPECTED...IT WILL ONCE AGAIN
POSE A SIGNIFICANT THREAT OF MUD AND DEBRIS FLOWS IN AND BELOW
RECENTLY BURNED AREAS AND ON STEEP TERRAIN. SINCE RAINFALL RATES ARE
LIKELY TO BE HIGH AT TIMES ON FRIDAY...THE DEBRIS FLOW THREAT WILL
BE ENHANCED.

THERE WAS SUBSTANTIAL RECHARGE OF SURFACE MOISTURE AND AQUIFERS
BELOW RIVER BEDS FROM THE STORM LAST WEEKEND...SO MORE OF THE RAIN
THIS STORM WILL RUN OFF INTO STREAMS...RIVERS...AND NORMALLY
DRY WASHES. IN ADDITION TO POSSIBLE LIFE THREATENING FLASH FLOODS
AND DEBRIS FLOWS...SHORT PERIODS OF VERY HEAVY RAIN CAN PRODUCE
URBAN FLOODING OF POORLY DRAINED...LOW LYING AREAS.

ALL INTERESTS SHOULD KEEP INFORMED OF ADDITIONAL STATEMENTS AND
POSSIBLE WATCHES AND WARNINGS LATER THIS WEEK.

It’s happened: Sam has learned to use the Internet.

He’s been using a computer since kindergarten, but now he can read and write well enough to type a search term into my Google window. And what does he use it for? So far, to shop for action figures, of course. I’ve got to get up to speed on parental controls and filters and so on, before he discovers porn or even (God help us) anime. I have to harass him to get the hell off the computer and do his homework.

Simultaneously, although I have a general “no video games” policy, he dug out my ancient Game Boy (from 1992, in the old putty grey color) with the Tetris cartridge in it, and has become addicted to Tetris, just like his mother and father before him. It’s as though some mysterious electronics hormone has kicked in, and suddenly he’s a full-fledged tech-head geek. In a strange way, I’m proud of him for it, probably because I’m such a poindexter myself.

We got over an inch of rain Thursday night into Friday night, and another storm is forecast to come through this weekend. We are ecstatic. By happenstance, the rain stopped just long enough for me to pick up Sam from school and get him into the car, whereupon it started raining again. Why is it raining? he asked, and I answered God is crying because Green Bay lost. I was only partially kidding.

Today it’s clear, and although the mountains didn’t see a lot of snow — this storm came up from the south, remember, so not as cold as usual — we’ve got one snow-capped peak visible, which I believe to be Mt. San Jacinto. (And yes, it IS that smoggy in the Inland Empire.)

I’m hoping for a cold storm next time out, because after a good cold storm, the mountains are clearly visible (as opposed to shrouded in smog), and covered in snow, and every time this happens I nearly wreck the car because I spend too much time admiring the snowy mountains while I’m driving. I’m still knocked out by the So Cal mountains after 23 years, mostly because I last lived in Delaware, the flattest state in the Union.

I love the rain, and I’m delighted that we are having rain this early in the season, because usually the storms don’t start coming through until after Christmas. Maybe the drought is finally over. I’m crossing my fingers.