Anyone remember Mahir (I kiss you!!)? Anyone remember the Ate My Balls craze?

Mahir Cagri Ate My Balls

I’m probably showing my age here, but All Your Base Are Belong To Us. Ah, the wild old crazy days of the Internet.

Especially for Going Like Sixty and all you other Boolie fans out there. Ain’t she grand?

I’m in a hurry, as it’s bath time for the kiddos, but Ben and I were talking the other day about one of our favorite dirty jokes. The best jokes are the ones where you don’t see the punch line coming (as opposed to the ones where you could see it coming even if you were on Mars). This is one of the former. Here we go. *taps mike*

So this blonde walks into a bar. She goes up and orders a Bud Light. And then she just sits there and drinks Bud Lights one after another until she passes out, whereupon all the guys in the bar take her into a back room and have their filthy way with her.

Next day, the same blonde comes in and orders a Bud Light again. Same deal: She drinks them one after another until she’s firmly schnockered and passes out, whereupon all the bar patrons take her into the back and screw her.

Day after that, in comes the blonde again. She goes up to the bar and the bartender says “Want a Bud Light?”

And the blonde says “Naw. They make my pussy hurt.”

Dudes, it has been one fucked-up couple of months. No matter how prepared you are for losing a loved one, it hits you rather hard in the gonads. The holidays were a blur, although we got the oddest new artificial Christmas tree with white, not green, branches, which I perversely picked out; the boys got a Wii from Santa; and Boolie is delicious. Also: my husband is a saint for putting up with me. Between persistent pneumonia and PTSD, I’ve been a bit of a bummer, to say the least.

Anyway. Ben and I were saying today: Have you noticed how gay the TV news has become? We are CNN junkies, and suddenly everyone is talking about this big package that’s meant to stimulate everyone. Doesn’t that sound dirty to you? Also, there is all this talk about Obama’s seat. How people were trying to sell his seat, and now officials are probing his seat. There hasn’t been this much talk about a politician’s seat since the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal. Ewww.

So my Matt turned six this week, which was a cause for revelry, and of course we are looking forward to the inauguration. Things are looking up. I hope. Happy New Year, and watch your seat, lest someone attempt to probe it.