Last night I watched the first installment of John Adams on HBO, and found myself wondering, at the opening credits, what it had done to earn a TV-14 rating. (That’s the same rating as Family Guy, which is replete with off-color jokes and frequent uses of the word penis.) The viewer was warned of brief nudity, as well as violence. Brief nudity? I wondered. Is Laura Linney as Abigail Adams going to do a topless scene? Are we going to have to look at Paul Giamatti’s ass?

Near the end of the episode, I got my answer: a brief glimpse of actual penis. This comes during a depiction of the stripping down, tarring and feathering of a treacherous Briton, and does absolutely nothing to move the plot along. So, you know, HBO, was that really necessary? Because I personally do not want to see much in the way of penis, and specifically I do not want to see British penis or actor penis. I have quite enough American penis to contend with at home, thank you.